Superwoman in yoga pants!

The last 2 days have been pretty... whats the word.... crazy.
Sometimes, okay most times, when I go to sleep my brain won't stop thinking. I think about the most absurd things and almost always bother my husband while he is trying to sleep, by asking him these absurd questions. Hey, i'm not getting any sleep, why should he? (only joking. I let the poor guy sleep so at least one of us is a functioning adult the next day). So the other night my brain wouldn't stop and as I am finally drifting off to sleep my brain shakes me awake to ask "have you checked if your drivers license is expired". Why no brain, I havn't. My birthday was nearly 2 months ago. I might want to check that.... in the morning. So as typical, 3 days pass before I remember to look and I finally do and go figure, my license expired on my bday. Awwwww CRAP. My husband works 7am to 5:30pm, and conviently the DMV is open 9am to 5pm. You know what that means right? I need to load up my brood of kids and take them with me to the DMV. Here in the heart of oil country, EVERYTHING is always super busy. I was absolutely dreading the trip but I knew it had to happen. Yesterday I wake up and look out the window. Its flipping raining. Perfect day to do this. So I get the kids ready, get them loaded up in the car to try to get there before the lunch rush and put the car in reverse. My daughter squeaks out from the back seat "mom, I have to go potty". The fact that she is speaking quieter than a church mouse isn't what bothers me, alright it does, but it isn't what bothers me most. I just told her to use the potty and she had a tantrum because "SHE DIDNT HAVE TO GO!!!!!". Lesson learned- MAKE the kids go potty before leaving the house. By the time we got to the DMV it was lunch rush, my kids were hungry and I was realllllly dreading this. We ran to the building in the rain (so much for doing my hair and makeup. Damnit, I was determined to have a decent photo this time). A gentleman held the door for us and my outlook started looking a little brighter. We walked in and grabbed a number. As I look around for seats I realize there are 3 available, but not together. A couple of guys must have seen the look of hope slide off my face because they instantly got up and demanded we take their chairs. As hope flooded back into my face a woman across the room said "maam" (I hate being called that btw. It makes me feel old). "Maam, you need to fill out one of those forms first". She was helping me and I was beyond grateful. It would have been a crying disaster if I had waited for my number to be called only to find out I had to take a new number and fill out a form first. Thank goodness for her. I filled out the form, handed snacks out to my 2 oldest kids and took out some disney maps I got in the mail. They were more than happy to just look and point out the cool things on their maps. They were actually behaving! Sooner than I anticipated, our number was called and we were in and out of there in 30 minutes. It wasn't as bad as I thought and I silently scolded myself for looking on the negative side.

Que today's adventure and the reason for the title.

Yesterday I got a slip in the mailbox which means I have a package that I need to pick up at the post office. Why is it that I order something, shipped ups. UPS ends up transferring to the post office and the post office just leaves a slip? Are they not allowed to leave it on my deck? Can I request them do this because post office trips with 3 kids under 5 is insane. I digress. I had to go pick up a package today, it was my daughters birthday gift. So the kids eat breakfast and I get them ready to go. I don't even bother putting real people clothes on. Instead I am wearing a pair of yoga pants, running shoes and my husbands sweatshirt to cover my butt. I use my hands to put my knotted hair into a sort of messed up ponytail. Again I am trying to avoid lunch rush because, as I said, everything here is always busy, and again I arrive at lunch time. Hey, at least this time I remember to make my kids use the bathroom before we leave. We get to the post office and squeeze into the last space in their cramped parking lot. I am constantly fearful that my kids are going to go running off into the road and get hit so I constantly remind them to keep a hand on the car at all times until they reach the sidewalk. I walk them around the car so I can get the baby. I put on my handy dandy ring sling and scoop him up. I put him in the sling while standing on the sidewalk and I promise the kids that if they are good they can get a chocolate malt with lunch, which will be fast food because its getting late. I also have to send off a package. We wait in line, while my kids play under this table in the middle of the room that holds all of the shipping labels. I tell them repeatedly to get away from that table and stand like good kids. 15 minutes later they listen. 1 minute later and its our turn. I get everything done. Package picked up, package shipped off and a silly card for my husband purchased. I didn't need the card but it was too cute to pass up. On the front it says "Sometimes I don't know why I put up with you" and on the inside it says "oh yeah, because you put up with me". I told you, it was cute. I balance a baby on my hip and a box, fancy waiter style on my 90 degree arm, while telling my kids to follow mommy like duckies. I get my kids safetly in the car and buckled in, and I triumphantly text my husband  "I DID IT!!! I'm basically superwoman" We get to the resturaunt, order some food and take it home. As we are passing the mailbox I see that the mailman has been by so I check the mailbox and there it is. Another pinkish orange pick up slip....
facepalm
I give up. I let my kids eat their food in the car, eat my food in our driveway and start heading back to the post office. Luckily there is a spot available so I take it. Safely get my kids out of the car "keep your hand on the car at all times", forget the darn sling at this point. I just don't care anymore. Carry my baby in "follow mommy like duckies kids" and step into line. Again my daughter starts playing under the table and again I tell her not to. My arm is starting to tire at this point and I am starting to care now. I should have brought the sling. Finally it is our turn and I resist the urge to cry as the man behind the counter says "hey, weren't you just here?" and as he goes back to get our package I hear a loud THUD and a couple of people say "ouch I bet that hurt". I turn around and oh lord, its my daughter. Despite all the times I told her to stay out of that table, she decided to go under it and jump. She smacked her head. Of course she starts screaming as if someone were murdering her. I get her calmed down and our package is handed to us. I look out the window... raining. Spectacular.... "ok kids, follow mommy like duckies" "keep your hand on the car at all times" and I get my wet kids safely buckled into the car. They of course use this time to remind mommy that she forget to get them a chocolate malt from the resturaunt. I take a deep breath and blow it out. I turn around and calmly tell them that they were sold out of malts. We go home.